When Ego Speaks Louder Than Dominance

Nothing destroys the essence of BDSM more than judgment disguised as authority.

I have witnessed and silently observed so-called dominants who use the title of “professional” to justify arrogance, prejudice, and a lack of empathy.

These are not dominants; they are insecure people hiding behind the illusion of power.

True dominance does not humiliate what is authentic.

It does not ridicule identities, desires, or bodies.

A conscious Dominatrix understands that every fetish is its own language a reflection of the mind and of desire itself.

To treat that with contempt is a clear sign of emotional ignorance and, worse, a lack of ethics.

There are those who laugh at someone else’s fetish, who criticize what they don’t understand, who use their position of power to diminish rather than to guide.

And the saddest part is when that behavior comes from those who should be the example.

A professional in BDSM does not exist to project her own insecurities onto others.

She exists to transform, to welcome, and to expand the experience always within the boundaries of respect and awareness.

No submissive should ever feel ashamed of who they are.

Shame has no place in a consensual exchange.

If you have ever been humiliated, rejected, or disrespected for what you feel, understand this: the fault is not yours.

It belongs to those who confuse domination with abuse.

To dominate is not to shout.

It is not to wound.

It is to lead with firmness, clarity, and purpose.

It is to touch the mind before the body.

And that requires emotional maturity, not just practical experience.

When someone asks me what separates a professional Dominatrix from an amateur, the answer is simple:

A true professional masters herself before she ever masters another.

Respecting another’s identity and desire is not kindness it is duty.

Anyone who cannot do that should never call their work art.